If you have been diagnosed with HIV you may be thinking about telling family members.
Your decision will depend upon the relationship you already have with them. If you have a relative who you are close to, who has been helpful in the past, they could be supportive now. Are they someone who accepts and loves you, who respects your privacy and is a good listener as well as being practical, sensible and reliable?
Deciding who to tell might depend upon your culture. In some African cultures HIV is something which is hard to talk about because of the fears people have about it and myths they believe. Family members may have incorrect information about HIV and treat you differently or unkindly. If you think your family might react like this it may be easier to get some support from an HIV organisation or a peer support group.
If you do decide to tell someone in your family, it might be useful to have some leaflets you can show them - whatever their culture, people may have exaggerated worries about HIV and having something to read may be reassuring. One suggestion is Understanding HIV published by Terrence Higgins Trust or The Basics range published by NAM.
Some people worry that if they become unwell and have to be admitted to hospital, the medical staff might disclose their HIV status to their relatives against their will. Generally doctors wouldn’t disclose someone’s HIV status – they might explain that the person has a condition like pneumonia, for example, without mentioning their HIV infection.
But in some situations medical staff might encourage people to disclose their HIV status so they can get support from their family, but they will not force them to do so. Read more on this topic.
Often people don’t understand the ways HIV can be passed on, or they may feel worried and upset about your health. They will be reassured to know that you’re getting good care from your HIV clinic and that you know where to get support and how to take care of yourself.
If you are a parent you may be thinking about telling your children that either you or they have HIV. They may be shocked or upset by the news or may not be able to keep it to themselves, and this could cause problems for all of you.
It is a good idea to get some support before disclose to your children from a family support worker or an HIV organisation that works with families with children. Talk to THT Direct to get more information about useful organisations.